These Lovely Men whom I have loved greatly & deeply are the ones who have perpetuated my love of music the most. They are the men with whom I have shared great quantities of time with; the one’s with whom I have shared my body and my bed; those men with whom I have allowed to use my toothbrush and spit in my sink. These romances of my past helped me to learn about myself as well as helped solidify my deep love of music, of which usually lasted longer than the romances themselves. We take what we can from all our human interactions and hopefully make ourselves new and more alive; the music makes me new and alive everyday.
First off, there was “K”, my first love, my first lover. He gave me reggae like Toots & The Maytalls and Yellowman. He gave me Kitaro with his spacey keyboards and Andreas Vollenweider with his electric harp and he opened the door to my understanding of “Mind Music” and the visions one can get from that.Then came “C”, the first musician I ever dated. He never actually spit in my sink nor shared my toothbrush and it was a short lived romance, but to this day I am grateful for meeting him since a few make out sessions on his couch and many in-depth conversations about the technicality of music ended up giving me “the ear” to hear music like I have never heard it before.
“R” came along with his tattoos, his gorgeous long & curly brown hair and his brooding moods. He took me for a ride of Old Time Rock and Roll. Little Feat, Grateful Dead, The Who, Pete Townshend. He broke furniture and trashed my mother’s living room when I broke his heart, but it was all Rock and Roll.
I met “A” within the SF Café scene. He was the first musician I ever fell in love with. He turned me on in so many ways but the music is what stayed in my bones. His love of folk music in the form of Cat Stevens, The Waterboys, Michelle Shocked and Woody Guthrie guided my ears and my spirit into realms of the soft strums of capoed six-string guitars, traveling minstrels of days of yore, and lyrics with “Thee" and "Thou”. But it was his own songs and music that stayed with me because I was a part of the process of their creation in some way.
Then there was “B”, a super fun romance but sadly one of the most traumatic in it’s ending. He was a bass player, not super good but it was cool anyhow to be the Old Lady of another musician. His bass was a fricking gorgeous rosewood beauty and it was pretty sexy. He was a true Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll Man in every capacity and we turned each other on to so much music that my head spins just thinking of the disk space on The Sound Track Of My Life CD. Freddy Jones Band, Dave Mathews, Dead Can Dance, Zero, Big Head Todd, Box Set, Lisa Gerrard, Ottmar Leibert, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos…and on and on…To this day, I do not listen to any of the music I experienced with him since we split many years ago, as the trauma of our breakup was intense. But I do think of that music fondly and hope to one day have it in my life again.
My Musical Inspiration continues in the form of 7.5 years of Domestic Something Or Other. “T” came along and filled my world with Salsa dancing, African rhythms and Latin music from Spain to Argentina. He gave me his I-Tunes Library and many lullabies for our child. He took me to the next level of love for myself and he left me with some killer play lists on the computer.
Then there was ”M”. He was one of the greatest influences of my life in more ways than I can count on the extremities that are attached to my body. He brought Hard Metal and Dark Rock & Roll into my brain where there lived only rage and anger from my mother’s death. He gave me such joy even amid the tumultuous relationship we were riding on and because of the many heartbreaks I endured with him, he indirectly inspired me to start writing about music so that I could find an creative outlet for my feelings and my battered heart. He gave me the understanding of the mechanics of music and helped my demons find some solace within heavy bass lines, screeching guitars and screaming lyrics that matched my feelings and the darkness of my soul.
“N” came into my life with his paintbrushes and dancing pelvis. Our first date found us falling in love amid Tom Petty songs and we danced our way into each other's hearts. Anything and everything was on the plate musically with he and I; hard rock, heavy metal and Old School '80’s like the Cure and Berlin, though live music was our muse. Sadly all I have left now is paint splattered clothing and another broken heart, but again the music heals me even without the man attached to the songs.
And so, my list draws to an end for now as there is always more room for inspiration. I do also wish to thank all the lesser Players of My Heart, who may not have ever had the honor of spitting in my bathroom sink but who have given me the gift of song regardless.
I dedicate this prose to you, my beloved boys of my past and present...and I sing a song a la Julio Iglesias!
“To all the boys I've loved before / Who traveled in and out my door / I'm glad they came along / I dedicate this song / To all the boys I've loved before”. Thanks Albert Hammond, for letting me plagiarize your lyrics.
All photos by Carolyn McCoy
Moonmama says: "Thanks boys, for all the music!"
No comments:
Post a Comment